I'm completely jittery about tomorrow, nerves fried, desperately asking the universe to give us the change we need deserve, totally suffering post-traumatic stress from previous stolen elections, no longer trusting the system, but desperately wanting to be proven wrong. Only Jon S.tewart and my girlfriend Rachel M.addow are getting me through. I will be downtown going crazy when our man wins tomorrow night.
In other news, my EWCM tells me I'll be ovulating soon. Feels so strange to not even know what cycle day I'm on. But vaguely liberating, too. Our pause will continue next month. And I'm going to travel overseas for some work next week. And also working hard to teach myself that I can feel alive right now, right here, with what I have, and not dwell only in the anticipation of what I want in the future but don't yet have. (I'm not good at this.)
9 comments:
*squishes*
Tomorrow is going to be rough, that's for damn sure.
Now wait just one second.... Rachel Maddow is my girlfriend too. I LOVE her. It was so wonderful to meet you - I know exactly what you mean about that ease. Your pause sounds so healthy, just don't beat yourself up too much for the anticipation. I honestly don't know how that is not possible, at least for me. I can't wait for our man to win.
Hey, we're Pause Buddies! Cool.
Do you know that my partner has been told she looks like Rachel Maddow 3 times this past week? We still haven't ever seen her show....crazy.
I was great to meet you too and I hope that I didn't pass any of these germs off to you!
Have a great time on your trip--it's fantastic work and you should be really proud of yourself.
it was my dad who introduced me to rachel madd*ow when she was subbing for keith oberman - my dad watches his show. he said she was great, better than keith and that she was getting her own show. the only thing he didn't like is that they seemed to be trying to girl her up or something. they were dressing her funny. my dad also turned me on to kd lang in the early 80s. go figure...
it was so great to see you in the city! you looked so excited to be going on an out-of-the-country stint, enjoy it fully, delight in the freedom of not being pregnant, for right now... i'm just talking a short NOW, days/weeks - soon enough you can get back on the horse ;)
First off--
1. I'm joining you and Pufferfish in the pausing category. I poas today just for fun and I'm surging. The egg that got away! I had a last minute panic--maybe we should try anyway moment this morning, then it passed and I regained my balance.
2. I'm SO jealous that you had that meetup. When are you coming to the district?
3. My parents are Rachel Maddow fanatics. My wife and I haven't really watched her. Go figure.
4. Freaking OUT about tomorrow.
5. Let's practice together trying to live in the now. But, it's fucking hard, right?
Ok, how jealous am I that I didn't get to meet you when you were in my city? Uh? Much jealous! But I'll move on for the moment.
I like to think that all these lessons we are trying to garner about the here and now and gratitude for it can be used toward our future parenting. Oh, wait I guess that defeats the whole living in the now, right? Skip that notion.
I am hoping you have a great trip and find peace and levity in this brief pause position.xxo
Still jealous ...:)
Let’s fight back on Proposition 8. Let’s boycott California wines, produce and travel. Let’s publicize it. Let’s embarrass them. It worked a few years ago in Colorado. What do say?
PS Best wishes on your pregnancy!
I love Rachael Maddow too! Like you, I am always trying to appreciate what I have now. I want to have fun, I want to laugh, I want to look around and realize that in so many ways, my life is so good. I don't want to wish it all away. But I am not so good at doing that-- usually it is far, far easier for me to only see what is not here. I have to keep working on that one.
"And also working hard to teach myself that I can feel alive right now, right here, with what I have, and not dwell only in the anticipation of what I want in the future but don't yet have. (I'm not good at this.)"
Oh man, I've been thinking about this so much lately. I wish I could find a good way to achieve this because it really does feel like I didn't live life to the fullest this last year. It's a good goal - I hope you can get there.
Also, I'm jealous of your meetup - what fun!
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