Sunday, April 26, 2009
Good conversations
We've been working on our adoption paperwork/application this weekend. We will be taking the next step this week - paying the next installment of the fee, submitting the formal application, and info on our financial history, and a questionnaire on cross-racial issues. Then we meet with our counselor again, then another round of paperwork and classes. We are doing domestic adoption, are open to any race, and very likely will adopt an African-American baby (my sweetie and I are both white). We are loving this adoption process. It is so intentional. We are having great conversations, prompted by the paperwork we are required to do. About parenting styles, our assumptions, our hopes, our fears, about what it means to be a "conspicuous family," etc. Now, obviously, trying to get knocked up is also a very intentional process for two ladies, but I have to admit, we haven't talked in such depth, or at such length, or about some of the harder issues, on our own. I mean, we know how to talk and "process" as well as any other lesbos. But the outside facilitation involved in this adoption process, having to write these essays, has really opened things up. Thus far, the "home study" process hasn't felt invasive. It's been been so useful and such a discovery. I love my sweetie so much and I can't wait to parent with her, no matter how our baby finds us.
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8 comments:
hi - that sounds so exciting - all the good conversations and the plans and contemplating what it all means. I am glad things are going well. I am watching your progress with a great deal of interest as we are a little behind you but going in the same direction:) good luck on the next step and see you on the journey!
Ah, this is so exciting!!! I would love to adopt but I worry that we wouldn't be able to afford it. I'm so glad you're sharing this journey - I'm so curious to see how it goes!
I am glad it is going so well. This was such a sweet post. You two are going to be great Moms!!
It's so exciting that you're moving ahead in this area. Getting to think through all those big questions must be a nice relief in contrast to the over-powering minutia of TTC. I can't wait until your baby finds you!
You sound so, so good. I am really happy that this feels right. I think one of the hidden blessings of the TTC process for us is that we have realized that it does not really matter how our child comes to us - just that we have the opportunity to be parents. Much love!
I like your thoughts. IT is a nice thing to see all our "hurdles" as positive ways to connect with one another and truly prepare for joint parenting. I hope your process continues to go so well.
How ever this baby comes to you, he or she is going to be lucky to have you both as moms and to have been so wanted. The big questions are so good to talk through and can be so reassuring that you can really do this (that is what we have found). I am happy that the adoption branch of your planning has gotten you out of some of the details of TTCing that can be so deading. I am sending you so much hope on both sides of your plans and I agian I KNOW there is a baby at the end of all of this. xoxo L.
That is a great place to be - when you realize you will be a parent by whatever means necessary and just how little biology matters at the end of the day. You're going to be great moms. Congratulations for making it here.
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