Tuesday, January 13, 2009
My problem
When I have a positive interaction with a doctor, or an easy, straightforward exchange with an administrator, or when I'm treated like a human being, I can keep up the hope and the faith and the optimism, and the energy. I feel like we can do this, and we will build a family. When I have to deal for the umpteenth time with bias, incompetence, discrimination, unfairness, the health care system's inadequacies, people's ignorance, or even just plain old unfriendliness, then I dwell in fear and become immobilized. I just can't seem to hold my center, I am so easily battered about by this process. It feels like it is always in someone else's hands. Like the power is not mine. I need so much from outsiders. Sperm. Insurance. Money. Gay-friendly health care providers. Advocates. Medical knowledge. Access.
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7 comments:
I know. Believe me, you guys are not alone, there are so many of us out here struggling with these same issues. Add family to the mix and you have my life (and todays post)! Hang in there, try to keep your spirit up, and it will all work out in the end, when you are holding your child.
I wish there weren't so many barriers to you feeling hopeful and well cared for. I wish that every healthcare provider (and administrator) knew that First Do No Harm includes emotional distress.
Cheering for YOU and hoping you get the support you need soon.
Oh Lady. I hear you. You know I do. This is so hard without having to worry that our lives are all controlled by a yes or no. I'm in the shite with you.
whats so disappointing is that those things (being treated like a human being, gay-friendly doctors) should be the norm, but so often aren't. sending you (hugs).
oh man you hit the nail on the head. i feel like TTC is such a delicate process, and it requires like 1,000 things to work together in harmony, and ONE flaw/lack of knowledge/bad donor batch/etc can ruin the whole thing.
It is so frustrating. In other news, I am so happy you're back in blogland!!!! we've missed you oodles. :) i bet we can make it through this year, if we all stick together. it's time for some good luck!
There is the part of me that wants to respond with a rant on the harm done to our souls/psyche/selves by modern industrial patriachal capitalism...and the other part of me just wants to say "hugs."
Yes, I feel this too. I have been so frustrated lately by all the things that are out of our hands that we need to get our baby. It can make you doubt everything. But no matter the administrator or the stupid rules, you'll get there. You'll get your family.
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