Wednesday, October 28, 2009
P.S. / ETA
Just for the record, I know that my definition of "family" in the post below is limited, hetero-normative, child-centric, disempowering, not fair, etc. I did not mean to offend anyone who is secure in their family and defines it differently - at all. Please don't misunderstand. I only mean that in my wounded heart, I won't feel like we have a family 'til we have kids. It's personal, not global, that fucked up definition. Ok? xoxoxo
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I am right there with you. both on the having definitions that are only applicable to myself (i.e. I feel "old" having my first baby now, b/c my mom had her LAST, my baby brother that I was 10 when he was born and I helped raise, when she was my age. but I don't feel like other people my age or older just getting started are old. does that make sense?). Also on the family thing. Not that I don't love J with all my heart. I do, but for us, and well, even for straight couples usually, I consider us a couple. When there are kids, it'll be a family. And it's sad but true to say that people (both family and friends), regardless of whether it's b/c we're same-sex or simply because there were no kids, have definitely started treating us differently since this pregnancy went public. Not in a bad way - i.e. it's not like my mom likes J any more or less than before, just. I don't know. Things we say are taken more seriously. There's more interest in what we're doing. More interest in planning holidays, things like that. It's strange.
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