Goin' down the only road I've ever known....
After five days of stimming, my estrogen is 75. They wanted it to be at least 200. It's not as low as it was last time, but still too low.
I never seem to find what I'm looking for....
The one piece of maybe good news is that there are 20 follicles. Last time there were only 9. But they're all under 10mm (she didn't say how far under) and they should be around 12mm. They're keeping me on the same doses of stims (because I'm already on the max), until Friday, when they want to see me again for another check. She said it "could go either way." She's seen people recover from this point and have successful cycles. But it could definitely be canceled again.
Hanging on the promises.....
I feel so deflated. She said if we cancel this one, there is yet another protocol to try - a microdose protocol. Even less Lupron. But really, fuck, come on. How can I be here again? I feel like a freak. A loser freak. A loser, defective freak who hums Whitesnake.
I know what it means, to walk along the lonely street of dreams....
13 comments:
A freak who hums Whitesnake is the only sort of freak I want to know anyway. As to you being any other sort of bad-connotation freak because your RE's office is still finding the right potion for you... nope, not believing it for one moment. You are doing everything you can with the tools you've got. I'm cheering for you and your follicles like crazy.
Oh friend. I hope like hell that the damn estrogen goes up. Thinking of you lots and wishing we weren't mired down in all this shitiness right now.
I hope things turn around. I HATE that broken down, freak feeling. I'll send lots growing vibes and will check back to see your progress often.
Oh damn Lizzie. This happened to me as well. I know the feeling. Did they have you on estrogen patches prior to the start of the cycle in anticipation of this?
My RE said with low estrogen he would never use a Lupron protocol and do a straight stimming/Ganerelix protocol instead. I don't know...I'm not an RE. But it's something to talk to your RE about, since this happened last time as well.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I've been there. I know.
PS--how much Follistim are you on? Did they increase the dosage after the low estrogen reading? They should and that WILL increase your estrogen.
NO! i am gonna hope that those numbers go up up up and those follicles plump up as desired. fingers crossed until friday. i'm sorry, and grrrrrr!
Well, shit! I'm hoping your next song is Wind of Change, courtesy of Scorpion... And that next year on an August summer night you will be holding your baby. xo
Ok, the Whitesnake references are damn funny!
However, I am so sorry you are in a similar position as last cycle. This sucks so bad. I am hoping and praying that you make it to retrieval this time.
ugh....bumming that the numbers are there yet. But hoping so so so effing crazy that the estro #'s catch up!! I mean 20 follies?? That is AWESOME!
thinking of you & hoping, hoping, hoping
Bastards! Sorry, I just can't help myself - I am so pissed!
That sucks - really hoping your follies make a big last minute surge so you can get to retrieval and to fertilization.
Take care:) ps never mind what the nurse says, what does the doctor say? Where is he in all of this?
AARRRGGHHHH again with the IVF mindfuck. Hoping that the estrogen kicks in for you and makes some good retrievable follicles. :( Hugs.
Ugh, I wish you only got wonderful news from the nurse. I'm holding out hope that you come through this cycle and it's not canceled. The 20 follies sound promising!
You're not a loser freak in the least, by the way!
now I have a visual of a woman with crazy big hair rolling around on a muscle car. (That's that video, right?)
Your wonderful and ironic sense of humor aside, I am really pulling for those follicles and that estrogen level to grow, grow, grow and go up, up, up.
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