- The seismic ovulation detector, like those machines that accurately detect the rumble of earthquakes deep in the Earth before they happen. This machine, which you would wear hooked to your belt, would be so sensitive as to detect the exact moment that the egg bursts forth.
- The sensitivity translator, that all doctors and medical professionals would have to wear over their mouths, that would automatically translate everything they are saying into sensitive, non-homophobic, and totally pro-woman language. I'm not talking about sugar coating bad news, just translating asshole into thoughtful.
- The fake symptom over-rider, which would make it impossible to feel symptoms of pregnancy that were not real.
- The uncertainty remover, which is part crystal ball, that could tell you the difference between "ain't gonna happen" and "hasn't happened yet" so you could know if your efforts are in vain.
- The no-baby magic glasses that, when you are wearing them, remove all pregnant ladies and infants from your line of sight.
- Oh, and while I'm at it ..... I want to invent a magic wand to make us all pregnant.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Inventions
My progesterone (P.rometrium) pills don't come with an applicator, so I jerry-rigged my own applicator out of a tampon. This got me to thinking. In addition to progesterone pill applicators, what inventions would I like to have?
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9 comments:
Brilliant inventions! Bravo! I wish I had something to add. I'll keep thinking about it.
--Jackie
magic wand! magic wand!
Oh those are awesome!! I realy think you are on to something with those. If I had a magic wand, I would give it to you!
Can your magic wand pass my way? it should be like a pay-it-forward custom in ttc land!
I was a future-teller that spits out the day you will conceive, closely followed by the day you will give birth. Then all you have to do is put up your countdown and wait. :)
can i get me some of those "no-baby magic glasses"?
Ooh, I love the list. I definitely want a wand, put me down for one of those. Everything else seems kind of unnecessary, but assuming that the wand is impossible, I like the ovulation sensor. And how about a device from those annoying 1st Resp0nse ads - a pregnancy test that can let you know the moment you become pregnant (doctor's are working on it!).
Something calendar-like device that you could enter important commitments and holidays that would then customize your cycle around those days.
Underwear that has a special sensor to give you a discreet reading on fertile mucus, blood, etc so that you didn't feel compelled to go check all the time.
A tax credit (screw deductions) for every cent spent on TTC, including cost for alcohol, chocolate, vacations and a reimbursed hourly rate for productivity lost while worrying
And, yes, the magic wand!
oh my god- give me those glasses!!! and then i'd like something that allows me to see when i have a good egg, so that when i do not have one coming, i can drink wine and eat sushi until my heart is content! did i mention travel?
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