Thursday, February 12, 2009
Then and now
Our first insem was a year ago, in February last year. I don't remember exactly which day(s), and I'm purposely not looking it up. But it was February. And I do remember how I felt. After it was over, I lay there holding my sweetie's hand, a little shocked at our audaciousness. We were going to make a baby! I felt a little overwhelmed, a lot giddy, and a lot excited. As a formerly straight girl, I even felt a little scandalized. There was a time in my life when I worried about condoms breaking, when I was terrified of sperm getting too close to its target. And that day last year, it felt so bold to want that sperm to hit its mark. Flash forward. Today I'm trading voicemails with the nurse at the new clinic, trying to track down and figure out why my lab order hasn't been faxed over yet, why I can't have my blood draw, watching the days tick by, and thinking I won't get to insem this cycle. Nothing feels bold, audacious, exciting, or even remotely scandalous. [Insert jaded, bitter laugh here.]
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10 comments:
So very true. I hope this cycle isn't out for you.
Seriously. *hugs lots*
Well said! But sorry you need to. It sucketh.
does kind of suck that the innocence is gone... but i do still think you are bold, audacious, exciting AND scandalous!
we had a conversation just like this, sitting in the post-op room tuesday...remembering how our first insem we were giddy and excited and sure we were doing something amazing. ha!
sending you hugs.
The anniversary of your first try is tough. I sincerely hope you won't miss this month.
I remember feeling scandalous too and sometimes still get a little of that when I go to work immeidately following an IUI.
[Insert jaded, bitter and understanding laugh here.]
Hey babe...
My one-year suckaversary of ttc hit me hard and I thought I was prepared for it. It just sucks so so much. I hope you have more happy ways to mark time passing very very soon. hugs
so true. we had our first IUI April 08. it was magical, hopeful, and almost expected that it would happen quickly. little did we know! now we're about to start injections, and we're beginning to do IVF consultations
Cleary, we can all relate to each other! Our first "try" we were on cloud nine, taking off the entire day to be together, relax and be in our bliss. Now, we are trying to schedule IUIs between meetings, work and day-to-day life. Try to get knocked up and run off to work! Oh, what a difference a year makes!
The one year anniversary sucks. I sorry you reached it.
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