Shaking my fist and shouting obscenities

So I liked Pride in my new 'hood.  I had three good friends in town and there was mostly good weather and even the few cloudbursts were passed with happy Midwesterners sharing umbrellas and feeling all full of fun. 

But I did have one low Pride moment. That was when the B.lue Cross B.lue Shield parade float went by. (As an aside, all of our utilities were represented in the parade - phone company, electric company, etc. - and this is a strange commercialization situation that I'm not down with. I want my Pride to be about the Dykes on Bikes and the gay policemen's association and Rainbow Families. Not V.erizon Wireless. But anyway.) Back to Sunday. The B.lue Cross B.lue Shield float goes merrily by, and out of nowhere I start screaming "F*ck You" at the top of my lungs. Now, I know most of you don't know me in real life, but screaming obscenities and gesturing at parade floats isn't really my normal style. Public outbursts of any kind, really. But it was spontaneous, and real, and very angry. I'd been sitting on that anger for awhile. Pride parade with a side of too-long-suppressed rage. But I just couldn't believe the bastards had the gall to be in my Pride parade when they define infertility as a year of trying heterosexual sex without getting pregnant ....

That, and I'm staring at a stack of bills from the new RE for about $1400 and another bill for the first HSG that is $1000.  Still not paying, and fighting.  B.CBS says they were coded infertility and I don't have any infertility coverage. (We will probably be switching from the PPO to the HMO in the fall just so I can get their infertility coverage - even though I'm not technically infertile and don't meet their definition. What the hell.) The RE's office says I that I do have coverage for "diagnostic" stuff up until the definition of infertility, and they are coding everything as diagnostic at this point, so it should be covered. (All the tests and appointments, but not the upcoming treatments and drugs.) I think B.CBS is just denying it to be assholes and trying to wear me down and make me just shut up and pay. I find myself having these conversations where I'm near tears, saying, "But I have NOT been diagnosed with infertility. My doctor has not said that yet. And furthermore, I haven't been having heterosexual sex without pregnancy for one year, which is your own freakin' definition of infertility. I have only had 3 IUIs and I paid for them out of pocket, you assholes. I'm not infertile. That has to be re-coded." ..... I'm not infertile. I'm not infertile. It is a little unclear who I am trying to convince. The insurance company, or myself.

And they marched in my f*cking parade. The bastards.