Children on the train

This morning on the subway, on my way to my Maya Massage appointment (which was fascinating and great and will get a whole post unto itself shortly), I had a really great experience.

This guy got on the train with me at my stop and sat down facing me. He was a big guy, kind of looked like a former high school football player, wearing a conservative suit, short haircut, slab of a wedding ring across his puffy finger, shiny shoes, reading the paper, looking very male and very typical, somehow. He was sort of staring in this not nice way at a woman (girl?) next to me with pink hair, like he didn't approve of her outlandish appearance. And I was getting all grumbly inside about this guy. Thinking he is totally conservative. And probably voted for Bush. And is probably really boring and self-centered. And all he cares about is sports. And he probably has a pretty wife who he doesn't try to understand or doesn't know well. And some job making money, but he doesn't care about the world. All these negative thoughts about this guy as the "other." And, who knows? Those things could all be true. And these thoughts probably say more about me than they do about him anyway. But let's just put it this way, this is not the kind of guy that I want to talk to, or ever did, or have ever understood. His sports bar arrogance and his Republican friends would have turned me off even when I was (or thought I was) straight.

But then, out of nowhere, some voice in my head told me to picture this guy as a child. And I did. And I could see him. At about 3 years old. And he didn't look that different than my nephews. And I suddenly loved him. I was so overwhelmed with the sense of him as a child, that I almost started to cry. And then I started playing the game with everyone on the train. The older, librarian looking lady. I could see her in a grainy 1950's home movie in a little skirt. And the insecure college age girl with too much makeup. She was a toddler before my eyes. It was amazing. I had tears brimming. I loved everyone on that train. I actually felt like I had this gift to really see people for a moment.

Crazy. I hope I can remember to it again when I'm tempted by irritation, judgement, anger, etc. It was the strangest feeling to be surrounded by all these children on the train, and so full of love.