Then she did the ultrasound. It wasn't that uncomfortable, but it took forever and she didn't SAY A WORD. I was seriously in a dark room with a dark, somber Eastern European woman wanding me for like 25 minutes and not talking to me. At first it didn't occur to me that it was weird, but then it started to feel like I was in a medical scene from some B-grade movie. Total silence, darkened room, unsuspecting lesbo on her back, Nurse Ratchett wielding a dildo-cam, sinister things afoot. At one point, she fired a question at me, "Do you get regular periods?" Yes. And I'm thinking, does my uterus look like I don't get regular periods? What could that mean? Why is this taking so long, what is she trying to get pictures of? I, of course, assumed that it was taking so long because there was something wrong with me. But when I asked afterward, she said that my uterus looked fine, my ovaries look fine, she has to count again but she thinks there were like 8 follicles (really tiny at this stage, I assume?) on either side .... She said that the nurse would call me this afternoon with the results of the bloodwork and she'd write up a full report from the ultrasound. I'm not even 100% sure why they did the CD3 ultrasound this month, since I'm not even officially in with the RE yet, I mean my appointment to talk through the HSG films is not until next week, and who knows if she's still thinking surgery or if she has better news for me and I could start to insem with her this month? I'm too late for Clomid this cycle, if she wanted to put me on that. But more data is more data, right?
Then I came home and in the mail were bills for the HSG and the first RE appointment, with insurance refusing to cover either one. I'm just burning through money at this point. Am I insane, am I flushing all of our savings (read: potential adoption money) down the toilet? Have I been making the right choices? Can we afford to ditch the feminist clinic? Can we afford not to?
3 comments:
egads! sorry your insurance coverage is so shitty! I have not had a CD3 wanding (lucky me!) so I don't have any wisdom to share but I think you sound like you are in good hands at this fancy new RE's place. $$$$ is $$$$ and there is just no way to know what the "right" choice is in terms of $$ well spent. Hell, we're out 6K in a blink wondering how the hell that happened. But, you should definitely stay with the doc that you feel is right for you, if you can manage it. Do they offer any sliding scale payment options?
Hey, I totally get that fear. Once you head down the insemination route, you are pretty much stuck. There is really only enough money for one - insemination or adoption - but not both. It's a little scary - both have unknowns. Maybe you'll never get pregnant, but at the same time, maybe you'll never be approved for an adoption as a same-sex couple. Both are risky. I think you just have to decide something and stick with it and never question yourself. We've got enough to worry about without worrying if we made the right decision. Good luck!
Ugh. I'm sorry about the $$$. I have that fear, though theoretically anything diagnostic should be covered.
:-/
You can never know what the right choice is. I worry about spending all our money and then not having $ to be able to adopt. But there are loans, and there are ways. I just hate so much that money needs to be such a factor in just bringing a family around.
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