It only takes one

CD8. I have one 14mm follie on the right (the open side). There's one a little smaller on the left (blocked) side. Probably will keep taking F.ollistim and go back in on Friday. Waiting for a call this afternoon to confirm that. I'm only on 75 units of the F.ollistim, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping for at least two follies on the right. But that's ok. I know the first cycle of injectables is as much a test/trial as anything else, to see how my body reacts. So we'll grow this one a little more, probably insem over the weekend, and see what happens. I am soooooo much calmer than I used to be. Two reasons:

1) I now have insurance coverage. So every insemination and every appointment and every decision isn't a wrenching financial choice. I'm making medical decisions, not financial ones. I'm not driving my family into (further) debt by pursuing this dream. We still have way too much on credit cards because of the six out-of-pocket failures last year and the HSN and the HSG and the sperm purchases, but at least we're not making it worse. (Note: I used to seethe with jealousy last year when I read the blogs of people with insurance coverage, so please know that I know that I am very lucky. Not as lucky as a pregnant lady, but lucky nonetheless.) 

2) We sent in our initial application and fee to the adoption agency this week. We are just going to follow both paths and see what works first. I feel so calm knowing that there will be a baby at the end of all of this. And as my sweetie said to me on Saturday, "We're starting adoption and we're shooting F.ollistim. We are doing absolutely everything we can do at this point. There is no stone unturned. Except, of course, kidnapping." This last comment was said with a side-long and knowing glance. Totally busted. She totally knows that I have kidnapping fantasies!!

So, I'm a great deal calmer about all of this. Something will work. Something will work. Something will work. Not that a BFN after a 2WW won't hurt like hell, but I definitely feel better than I used to. 

Ok, true confessions. I'm not all 100% zen. There has to be something to worry about. When they drew blood this morning, they also drew a vial for H.epatitis, just a standard procedure at this new clinic. But I vividly and painfully remember Cali's false positive debacle in the Fall of '07. And since I've been vaccinated against Hep A and B (because I do a lot of work in developing countries), I'm semi-terrified that there will be little Hep thingees (yes, that is the scientific term) swimming around in my blood that will give a false positive. Gotta have a little drama. How could I get through my day without a little worry?? But I'm better than I used to be.