Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Temporary insanity
Ok, I admit it. From like Saturday to Monday, I sort of thought I might be pregnant. That's 5dpi to 7dpi. Otherwise known as "way too early." On Saturday I had a teeeeeny tiny bit of spotting (so tiny that the normal person who wasn't examining her toilet paper would not have seen it, we're talking microscopic, and it was dried brown - sorry for the TMI - not red, so it was probably leftover from the insemination itself - gross). On Sunday and again Monday I had some dull cramps. On Monday my boobs were so sore I thought I'd have to spend the whole day lying on my back. Then last night I had what I call "wishful smelling." (Super sonic smell is my favorite "symptom" to think I have, so terribly subjective and so easy for your body to fake you out with, I mean, really, how often when we're not in the 2ww do we even think about how the chicken smells, and then suddenly in a 2ww it is the smelliest chicken ever?) Anyway, all of these symptoms are gone today and I am left realizing that I allowed myself to go down the path of insanity once again. I thought about not recording this on the blog. If it is left unsaid, then maybe the BFN won't make me feel so foolish when it comes. Whatever. I had a few days of fantasy land. Have recovered, though, and feel like my old "no way in hell," symptom-less self again ..... !
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14 comments:
Sorry Lizzie. Very sorry.
It happens to the best of us. And hey, maybe it's not all in your head. *hugs*
I swear, I go back and forth on this so much. I can't figure out if having some solid hope during the TWW makes the BFN worse or not. It does seem to make part of the TWW slightly better. But I truly hate that foolish feeling like you've been tricked.
Hugs. I hope that those symptoms are real after all.
All I can say is that this is so normal. I have thought I had symptoms in every TWW. Hang in there. Wishing you success at the end of these 2 weeks!
I hate how those feelings can just sneak up on you even when you set it in your head not to let it happen again. Hang in there maybe your next post will be after you get your BFP and you can tell us you knew it based on all your symptoms!
symptom watch can be maddening. im with the pp, i hope your next post is a bfp and you can tell us how you *knew* this month was different! :D ive got everything crossed for you!
Sweet girl! The mindf.ck is indeed maddening, and yet it's kind of fun to let your mind wander down the what-if road sometimes too. With both of my positives, I've felt a whooshing disappearance of all symptoms at 10dpIUI. Just saying.
Hoping great things for you, and really proud of you as you exuberantly follow two paths at once.
as painful as it is... those moments that we think we *might* be pregnant are needed to allow us to keep trying, otherwise we would curl up in a ball and hide under the couch.
... so, i'll be under the couch if you need me ;)
Hang in there babe. This, for me, if the most painful part of the whole process. Those moments of hopefulness followed by the inevitable chastizing for allowing any glimmer of possibility into your mind. No matter how resolute I am that I WILL NOT EVER AGAIN fall down that slope, I always do. It's slippery down there. And then I ALWAYS follow it up with self-loathing. Not at all a fun cycle. Hold tight. Answer will be soon. xoxo
Hey we all do it to ourselves. There's no way through a TWW without it and it sucks!
I'm sorry that happened. Don't be too hard on yourself because its not foolish, even when you feel duped. Symptomville is just hell all around.
We've all been there. But every so often it's right on the mark. I'm really hoping for you darling. Hang in there. xoxo
I don't think you were temporarily insane. Just wishful and hopeful and hopefully right. This of course does not make it any less maddening I just have to say that the cycle that worked for us I really felt the least symptoms. I absolutely did not have "I know it" moment. I really hope you soon are posting about your BFP. xo L
Damn, those symptoms sounded good. I had the same thing happen up until 10dpo. I had all kinds of symptoms, then everything disappeared. it's so cruel.
I am hoping you are pregnant!
I think in my case, it was the menopur. This was my first cycle on injectables, and boy - did they eff with my system. sore boobs, serious implantation-like cramps, food tasted different, weird taste in mouth.
They really need to invent injectables that don't mimic freaking pregnancy symptoms.
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