Me, at W.algreens, with $40 OPKs in hand.
Cashier: Do you have kids?
Me: No, but I want to. (Why volunteer personal information? Note to self: keep your mouth shut.)
Cashier: (Sounding doubtful.) Really? Well, you missed the sale on those pregnancy tests last week.
Me: I'm sorry I missed the sale, but these aren't actually pregnancy tests. They're ovulation predictor kits. (Why did I engage? Why not keep my mouth shut? Why?)
Cashier: Huh. What do they do?
Me: (Quickly making calculated decision to skip the whole lesbo, donor sperm, IUI part of the story) Well, they tell you what day of the month you're most likely to get pregnant.
Cashier: Really? I can get pregnant any day of the month. Skip birth control one day, and man, I'm pregnant. I've got three kids. They're 3, 2, and 1 years old. And I'm only 21!
Me: (Dumbfounded silence.)
Cashier: But they all have the same dad!
Me: Oh. Great.
Cashier: Well, here's your change. And, um, good luck?
Me: Yeah, good luck to you, too ....
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
Hilarious!!
i don't know. sure our way is anxiety provoking, expensive, painful, slow. but it's also thoughtful, and our kids wanted, planned for and loved. and we get to learn all about ovulation!
I love it. "I can get pregnant any day of the month." It's even better than "All he has to do is look at me!" or "The second we were done having sex, I knew we had made a baby." GAG!
I just threw up in my mouth a little.
I think the cashier may be my sister-in-law. Because those exact words have come out of her mouth.
That's like my co-worker (due this month -- an accident, as was her first pregnancy 18 years ago) who jokes that she got pregnant because she ate too many watermelon seeds, and could get pregnant on a doorknob. >.< Drives me NUTS. And she says these things to me trying to be supportive. Yeah, THANKS.
I can't believe you didn't throw the change back at her.
OMG! That's hilarious!
Post a Comment