I prefer the expensive (of course I do) digital pregnancy tests. The ones that spell out "pregnant" or "not pregnant." (Actually I'm just taking it on faith that they sometimes say "pregnant," as I've never personally seen evidence of that.) But those digital ones with their "not pregnant" announcements leave no room for craziness. The "NOT" screams at you. Might as well be a billboard with flashing marquee lights. No, you hopeful, foolish little thing you, no you are NOT pregnant. I think they are better than the one line vs. two line tests. Those can send you running to your partner in a moment of "not-hope-exactly-but-I'd-love-for-you-to-tell-me-I'm-actually-blind-and-you-can-see-something-I-can't" craziness. Even when there is clearly only one line and the space for the second line is white. Bright white. White like a soap opera actor's teeth. Like white on rice. Blindingly white. White hot. Painfully, brilliantly white. Like a white non-pregnant elephant in the room. Like the white of a wasted egg. Black and white obvious.
I know it's not over 'til there's blood, but there have already been three confirmations. Yesterday morning's BFN. Yesterday afternoon's "I-feel-so-sick-to-my-stomach-that-I-have-to-skip-class-and-I-must-be-pregnant-afterall" BFN. And this morning, 14dpi, another BFN. Wish the blood would just come already so I could go buy myself an expensive bottle of not pregnant, one line, bright white wine!!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
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6 comments:
*HUGS*
I know that feeling ALLLLL too well.
I told J that if I get a BFN, I am bringing a LARGE and NICE bottle of wine to our seder Sunday night...
I myself have often been amazed at just how blindingly WHITE that 2 centimeters of space on the test window can be. Every time I stare at one, I feel as if it is the whitest thing I've ever seen in my whole life.
Bring on the wine!
Damn! I have never used those digital ones. We are too cheap here. Plus we have found that the cheap ones are usually better. Sorry though. Keep your hopes up.
(((hugs)))
I've been there and it is a crazy place to be...I'm still hoping....
Ugh...twas not so long ago that i also saw those same test results. it will happen lizzie - i know it will!!! And IF AF rears her ugly head, that wine sounds lovely. lots of love your way. xo
Oh, darling.
"Bright white. White like a soap opera actor's teeth. Like white on rice. Blindingly white. White hot. Painfully, brilliantly white. Like a white non-pregnant elephant in the room. Like the white of a wasted egg. Black and white obvious."
I love the way you write, but this just brought my emotional basket case to tears. And I really can't be crying this hard because I'm still at work.
But I get it. Know that I get it and I'm so so so sorry.
oxox
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