Today is 11dpo according to FF. Part of me thinks it's only 10dpo, but I'm not sure. FF says to test tomorrow. And I think I will. I think that a BFN will be much, much harder on me this time than it was in February. In February I had no pseudo-symptoms at all, couldn't even pretend. Was pretty convinced it hadn't worked. This time I've had headaches and nausea (but they correlate suspiciously to the C.rinone gel timing). I've also had some cramping throughout the 2ww. Mild, and not consistent. Dull. But not the stretch-y or pull-y or ping-y kind I've heard other people describe. All I'm saying is that this time I have some hope.
This morning my temp was 98.47. I accidentally entered 97.47. That made the line descended dramatically below the coverline and in the half-second before I realized my mistake, I felt this all-over-body fear .... A little hope is a dangerous thing.
Monday, April 14, 2008
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6 comments:
A little hope is a dangerous thing.
I'm right this very moment trying to explain that to a friend of mine, as she tries to encourage me to be hopeful and optimistic.
Though this cycle (symptom-wise) has been better than last, it hasn't been as "good" as the first, and I just remember how crushing it was that cycle, and I can't do that to myself. I will be over here trying not to be optimistic for myself, while cursing FF (for CHANGING my O DAY WTF), and being optimistic for everybody ELSE in the TWW.
N - I like your approach. It's sooo easy to be optimistic for others, but I have to remain guarded for myself.
Well -- I figure, if I'm optimistic for other people, they can be optimistic for me, and in the end, it all evens out, but without the disappointment.
Well -- who am I kidding. Without AS MUCH disappointment.
Oh hun I am pulling for you! I understand how frantic it is in these last few days of the wait. Recently a friend of mine ttc said that she felt so much better with her bfn than waiting. At least then she knew she was Not Pregnant. I agree completely. The not knowing is worst. I hope you get to know soon and I'm all crossed for it to be a bfp!
I've gotta second Mrs. Bluemont. The last three days are pure and utter torture. And though I've only gotten nos at the end of them so far, I always find that a bit of a relief from the pain of the uncertainty. Hope is a dangerous thing that fucks with your head a lot. And I know all about what the prog. does to you, symptom wise. That being said--I'll hold on to some hope for you and will be eager to hear about any news there is to report soon-good, bad, or in-between. hugs
Maybe they aren't pseudo symptoms! They prescribed the Crinone for me too. I don't know if what I experienced was the gel or early pregnancy symptoms but I definitely didn't get headaches or nauseous. I was crampy though. I'm crossing fingers for you that you're test is positive!
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