As in moving forward, taking steps, getting in gear, taking charge, acting decisively, not wallowing, not remaining paralyzed by fear. Things I have done this morning:
1. Scheduled an HSG for Friday. (Which we will be paying for out of pocket. God bless the USA and our "best m.edical system in the world." NOT.)
2. Scheduled an RE appointment for Monday, May 5. (Which we will be paying for out of pocket. See number 1 above.)
3. Called my mortgage company and my bank to figure out how much money is at our disposal should we need it. Because we need a new home in our new city and we may need IVF in my old uterus.
These are scary things for me. It is much easier for me to stay in bed and cry than to act and schedule appointments that may yield scary results or to make phone calls that involve words like "interest rate" or "re-finance" or "equity" or "h.ysterosalpingogram."
I am deeply, deeply fearful that my tubes are blocked. And I have not posted at all about that, and about why I think that, and what evidence I'm going on, because I have felt stupid that we chose to go ahead with IUIs anyway. Didn't want to be judged by what seems, perhaps, to have been an impractical choice.
So, we're moving forward. And I'm proud of myself and I'm going to go buy ice cream at 10:30 in the morning and call it lunch.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
I so walked into my hsg with the same fear. I was convinced my tubes were filled with crud and there would be no way I'd ever get pregnant.
I watched as the dye filled my uterus and held my breath as it shot straight out my left tube. Not my right. I totally panicked. Then sure enough a moment (or days it felt) later if filled.
Moral of the story...don't let the fear stress you. It will be okay.
**hugs** I can't wait to hear the good results.
I'm glad you're facing the fears and moving towards them, not letting then root you to the spot.
You shouldn't worry about being judged here - this is your space. Decisions made in the hope that the best will happen are understandable, despite your understandable concerns. If the IUIs had worked, you wouldn't have thought them impractical.
I hope your HSG is painless and shows a good result. Don't be too scared of something with 'ping' in its name. However sound your reasons, I hope they're unfounded in the end, but either way, you'll know what you're dealing with and you can only go forwards. Good luck with it.
Brava! It is so difficult to move forward after the blow, especially into personally unchartered territory. I wish I could give you a hug right now and take you for the ice cream.
ox
I just survived mine. It wasn't that bad. And you'll be so happy to have it done and have that reassurance.
*HUGS*
You're very brave.
Good luck with the HSG, and congrats on making the appointments and moving forward. I know how difficult it can be to motivate oneself to make those scary moves forward. I know I often feel paralyzed in such moments, but it feels good to escape the paralysis and move onward.
i'm proud of you!
Good job making all those calls! I am such a procrastinator on those things too.
And good job for scheduling the HSG. More data, always a good thing in my book.
Post a Comment